its not stalking. its research.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
