we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
