dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
