Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
