is your mom at the bar?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
