So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
