I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just threw up on my dentist
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We left the knife in your bed.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize