decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This is my gift to your gina
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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