so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize