Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
