I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
