He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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