He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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