I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
