i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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