5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
