im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
