There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
