Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sext me about skeletons
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