she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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