You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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