Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
