She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
