CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
