Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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