I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize