So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
