Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
