I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
