I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
