Can i not drive my cunt home
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
