Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
