he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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