So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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