walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
