Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
