Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
