Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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