It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
