I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
