No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
