We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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