I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
