Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
