But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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