Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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