everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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