its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it's like heaven, but drunker
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
