I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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