Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize