Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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