I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sext me about skeletons
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
