i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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