Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
why is half of my head shaved?
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