Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
