Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
