Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I think I just sharted jello shots
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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