Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
