I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize