Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
