dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
