STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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